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A Very Special Episode...
Feb. 5th, 2011 11:32 pmI find myself squinting sideways at the upcoming US Torchwood thing. And no, before the Ianto-Jones-Cannot-Die People's Front or the People's Front of Gwen-Cooper-Must-Die start howling at me, it's not what you think.
It is, in short, that Very Special Episode.
We all know which one that will be, right? Here's how it will go:
Jack Harkness: I've gathered you all here today because I have a special announcement to make.
Other Torchwood team members murmur expectantly
Jack Harkness: I just can't hide it any longer. It's not fair to the rest of you.
Gwen Cooper: Whatever it is, Jack, we'll support you!
Jack Harkness [looking slightly abashed]: I'm...I'm gay!
Other Torchwood team members gather around him and hug him to show their support.
You can just picture it, can't you? Because we can't just have Jack be, you know, organically queer. Heaven forfend that everyone already knows he's queer and either just doesn't care or is shagging him anyway, so what difference does it make?
Instead there has to be that Very Special Episode in which the obviousness of his queerness has to be pointed out. And everyone else has to be all cheery and supportive because, well, we all know how hard it was for Jack to point out how obviously queer he is.
And sure, there will be bumps along the way. Somebody will be uncomfortable with it, until they tearfully admit that they, too, have harbored Sekrit Queer Thots. But at the end of the hour, everyone (including Jack) is OK with Teh Gay. As they all go off to have a drink at the local watering hole to toast their Okayness with Teh Gayness.
Because that's how we do things in America, dammit. We must club the audience over the head with the obvious because otherwise, their pea-eyed pointy haids will never figure out that maybe, just maybe, Jack...*gasp*...might be queer. We must wave it under the audience's collective noses so that they cannot miss it.
It ends up reducing Jack's queerness to what amounts to a trick dog. Trot it out, let it jump through a hoop while wearing a funny hat, get the audience "aww..." reaction, and then usher it off into the wings before it craps on the stage. Or starts humping the MC's leg (this is DRAMA, remember. Leg-humping is reserved for comedy).
And I am not looking forward to that. Jack's queerness should not be just a cheap ploy used to bump the ratings, and then swept under a neat and tidy rug three episodes later as if it never happened.
BetN, founder of the People's Anti-Leg-Humping Front
It is, in short, that Very Special Episode.
We all know which one that will be, right? Here's how it will go:
Jack Harkness: I've gathered you all here today because I have a special announcement to make.
Other Torchwood team members murmur expectantly
Jack Harkness: I just can't hide it any longer. It's not fair to the rest of you.
Gwen Cooper: Whatever it is, Jack, we'll support you!
Jack Harkness [looking slightly abashed]: I'm...I'm gay!
Other Torchwood team members gather around him and hug him to show their support.
You can just picture it, can't you? Because we can't just have Jack be, you know, organically queer. Heaven forfend that everyone already knows he's queer and either just doesn't care or is shagging him anyway, so what difference does it make?
Instead there has to be that Very Special Episode in which the obviousness of his queerness has to be pointed out. And everyone else has to be all cheery and supportive because, well, we all know how hard it was for Jack to point out how obviously queer he is.
And sure, there will be bumps along the way. Somebody will be uncomfortable with it, until they tearfully admit that they, too, have harbored Sekrit Queer Thots. But at the end of the hour, everyone (including Jack) is OK with Teh Gay. As they all go off to have a drink at the local watering hole to toast their Okayness with Teh Gayness.
Because that's how we do things in America, dammit. We must club the audience over the head with the obvious because otherwise, their pea-eyed pointy haids will never figure out that maybe, just maybe, Jack...*gasp*...might be queer. We must wave it under the audience's collective noses so that they cannot miss it.
It ends up reducing Jack's queerness to what amounts to a trick dog. Trot it out, let it jump through a hoop while wearing a funny hat, get the audience "aww..." reaction, and then usher it off into the wings before it craps on the stage. Or starts humping the MC's leg (this is DRAMA, remember. Leg-humping is reserved for comedy).
And I am not looking forward to that. Jack's queerness should not be just a cheap ploy used to bump the ratings, and then swept under a neat and tidy rug three episodes later as if it never happened.
BetN, founder of the People's Anti-Leg-Humping Front
